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The Most Offensive Team Nicknames

The Most Offensive Team Nicknames

Author’s Note: If you want to skip to the list, just scroll down. If you do read on, you’ll notice many of the words below look like this…. they’re linked. There are some almost unbelievable team names below… Click them to see who in God’s name is using that name.

Cancel culture isn’t coming for football anymore; it’s here.  Somewhere along the line, this thing became a monster.  And before we start pointing fingers, this isn’t a partisan thing.  Every d@mn body does it now.  Constantly.  Turn on a “News” network… doesn’t matter if it’s right or left… and half of what you see will be folks screaming that the other side is cancelling them, and demanding the other side therefore be cancelled.  And back and forth ad infinitum.

Like most things, the idea of cancelling wasn’t always a bad thing.  Folks find out a clothing company was using child labor… they stop buying the clothes.  Company goes under, people stop using child labor.  Even in sports it’s an old thing.  Michael Vick runs a dog fighting ring, and public opinion ran him out of the NFL.  There’s a whole list of Athletes who have done something messed up and it cost them their career.  That whole thing is as American as anything.  It’s an integral part of American Capitalism…  In the end, the Consumer calls the shots.  But this… isn’t that.  This is madness, on both sides.  We don’t cancel people or things over felonies any more.  We do it because people don’t share our opinion.  Sometimes even because someone hasn’t spoken up to agree with our point of view.  It’s not enough anymore that we respect each others’ opinions now… we have to openly agree.  

And now… they’re coming for sports teams’ names.  We’ve all heard about the issues with Native American team names.  The Redskins have been nameless forever now, and the Indians just became the Guardians.

I’ll be honest… Until recently, I didn’t understand the fuss.  Some, yes.  A buddy of mine who’s Native American explained that ‘Redskins’ is pretty much the equivalent of the ‘N’ word.  So yeah… that’s reasonable.  In fact, it’s overdue.  But some of the others… I still don’t understand.  I’ve never thought of the Seminole war chant or the Tomahawk chop as insulting, but h@ll… I’m a white guy.  I have no idea what these folks are thinking and feeling.  If it bothers them, and the teams agree… Ok.  There are definitely times a name change is in order.  There have actually been some pretty horrific team names over history.  There was a baseball team in London, Canada in 2007 called the “Rippers”.  As in “Jack The”.  I mean… d@mn.  Did anyone actually think that wouldn’t be an issue?  ANd there have been plenty more.  Among the team names that had to be changed…. The Pekin High School Chinks, The Frisco Fighting Coons, The Coachella Valley High School Arabs, The Wahpeton Wops, and the The St. Bonaventure University Brown Squaws.  The Brown Squaws name was changed, for the record, because it was discovered that “Brown Squaw”, in the Choctaw language, literally translates to a Woman’s female parts.  Google it.

But in recent weeks, they’re going after every d@mn body.  Teams in every sport, from pro teams right on down to High school teams.  From both sides.  So get ready, because it looks like the whole d@mn sports world is about to get an ugly make-over.

All of the Native American names are out, and there are a ton of them… 444 “Indians”.  75 “Chiefs”. Dozens of teams named after individual tribes.  And the Native Americans aren’t the only ones to go.  There are quite a few ethnic names that have to go as well, just in case someone is offended by their use.  So say goodbye to the Orientals, Arabs, Canadians, Irish, Cubans, Brittons, and Swedes.  (Again… not saying some of these probably shouldn’t go, or that some should.  Just pointing out what’s coming down the road.)

Another target?  Guns and violence.  Because nothing provokes mass violence like a sports team called the Snipers, Cutthroats, Daggers, or Gunners, right?  Out they go, and they can take the Bullets with them.

In fact, there are a whole d@mn lot of teams named after people who do violent things.  There’s no violence in sports!  So we now bid farewell to the Assassins, Bombers, Brawlers, Hitmen, Desperados, and the Destroyers.  But wait… there’s more!  Following them out the cancel culture door we see the Enforcers, Knockouts, and Pounders.

In fact, let’s take all of the fighting out of sports.  There are 45 “Fighting” teams, from the Bees to the Zebras… and another 7 who are “Fightin”.   all of them out the door.

While we’re at it, you know who also shoots people… and uses guns to do it?  The military.  Our friends over there on the far left will probably want to get rid of them as well, right?  So a moment of silence for the Colonels, Majors, Captains, Generals, Admirals, Fleet, Corps, and the Sherman Tanks. And while no one’s sure what Gyrenes are, they sound militant.  Better send them packing, too.  We won’t leave the police out, though.  See ya later,  Vice Squad.

But it’s not just all of this horrible violence they’re after.  There is racism hidden in the sports world.  Right out in the open.  Fortunately, there are folks here to get rid of those teams for us as well.  So farewell to the Cottonpickers, Halfbreeds, Whitefaces, Cotton Kings, Coons, The Confederates, The Clan, Black Devils, Hillbillies, and Islanders.

But we’re just getting warmed up.  Do you have any idea how many obscene, even pornographic, team names there are?  No way we can tolerate these disgusting hidden titles.  Into the trash with the Cornjerkers, Kiss, Jug Rox, Nimrods, Peanuts, Polar Twins, Predators, Swallows, Trojans, Peglegs, Rimrockers, Ripknees, Honkers, Red Tops, Red Tails, Red Wings, Gamecocks, Peacocks, Fighting Cocks, and Hooters. (In their defense… the Hooters team really was named after the restaurant)

What else can we not tolerate?  God!  Religion has to be left out of everything now, so away with the Christ Ambassadors, Jesuits, Christians, Churchmen, Crusaders, Higher Praise, Missionaries, Praying Colonels, and Preachers.  And all of those religion based schools… Liberty, Notre Dame, BYU, Baylor, SMU… their nickname might not be offensive… (Other than the Irish being racist, the Flames promoting arson, and the other three taking advantage of animals, of course) but we can’t have all of that God stuff.  And we can’t discriminate here, can we?  If God is out, then the Devils has to hit the bricks with him.  Last call for the Dark Angels,Demons, Diablos, Devil Dogs, Devil Pups, Devil Rays, The Black, Red, Purple, Maroon, Green, Sun, Sea, Screaming, Fog, And Dust Devils…. And Sin.

What else do need to cancel?  Drugs!  We just say no to the Cottonmouths, Krunk, Lizard Kings, Rollers, Steamrollers, and Red-Eyed Panthers.

But there is still more filth, racism, oppression, and a bunch of other catch-phrase talking point propaganda to weed out here.  Deaf Hoosiers, Midgets, and Martians?  All discriminatory to the folks who are deaf, little, and alien.  Pride is a gay thing now, so that’s gotta go.  Gamblers, Hobos and Drifters?  Unwholesome.  Can’t happen.  The Battling Bathers… Why in the h@ll are they battling while they’re bathing.  We all know what that is.  Those on the far right will need us to get rid of the Borderites, and send the Democrats with them.  La Muerta means Death… that’s just not appropriate.  The MAINEiacs and Navi Gators are being let go because their stupid pun nicknames are offensive.  The Earwigs are gone because Earwigs are disgusting and naming a team after them is, as well.  The Feet… that’s right, there’s a team called “The Feet”… just… what is wrong with people?

That last paragraph or went off into stupid, didn’t it?  Sadly, though, as silly as it may have been, it wasn’t any more ridiculous than all of the garbage that came before it.  It was all nonsense.  We all keep falling into this stupid trap circle… The media tells us to be pissed at things, and we do so. The politicians join in because fear, anger, and conflict keeps them in power while it’s making the “News” channels and web sites rich. And in the process, they keep Americans at each others’ throats.

Sports has always been an equalizer in America.  They have always torn down boundaries at a fundamental level for us.  I’m a Packers fan, and have seen my share of games at Lambeau.  Never have I bothered to care who the person next to me voted for or how they feel about individual issues.  Americans have always left that bullsh@t at the gate.  When we watch football or baseball or basketball or hockey… we share something.  It’s a literal bond.  If we let all of this creep into sports… it will ruin it.  The media and politicians are going to continue to feed us crap, but it’s on us to decide if we eat it or not.  All the problems we have going on in this world… pandemics killing everybody, half the d@mn planet on fire half the summer, little angry countries running around with big guns itching to use them…. Genocides, hunger… it’s a long damn list.  Maybe there are some teams nicknames that are objectionable.  Change them if it keeps people happy.  But let’s not let this get out of control.  These are sports teams.  People who play games.  The nicknames were never meant to be taken seriously.  We all need to stop letting the media turn us into Trolls; they’re letting us be our own Villains.  Sports still belongs to the fans.  We can keep these cancel happy b@stards out if we so choose.

Every highlighted word in this post is the name of an actual team (click the team’s name to learn more about the them)  who has taken some form of protest or heat over their name.  Having seen all of them, it’s time to deliver on the promise you clicked for… here are the most offensive team nicknames.

Top 10 Most Offensive Sports Team Nicknames

10. Earwigs

Dunn High School San Olivos, CA

As stated above, earwigs are repulsive. Naming a team after them is an abomination. Just.. gross.

9. Assasins

Women’s Semi Pro Footaball Team

As we saw above, there are plenty of teams with questionable names… many with possible alternative meanings. Assassin only has one, and when you read the definition you realize this one might actually be a bit worse than you thought: “a murderer of an important person in a surprise attack for political or religious reasons.”

That being said… the logo is incredible.

8. Tarblooders

Glenville High School Cleveland, OH

In the 1940’s, this team and their fans were fond of saying they would “Whack the tar and blood out of opponents”/ It was eventually adopted as the name.

7. Pirates

Butte High School Arco, ID

Pirates seems like a rather mundane name until you realize this team is called Butte High School. Yup… the Butte Pirates.

6. Fighting ‘Cocks

Cocke County High School Newport, TN

Yes, it’s short for “Gamecoks”, but still… not subtle.

5. Arabs

Coachella Valley High School Coachella, CA

Not much in the way of subtlety here, either. In an interesting twist, this team actually just changed its name… after protests from the Arab-American community, a compromise was reached for a new name… the “Mighty Arabs”. Tough one to figure, there.

4. Confederates

Lee Davis High School Mechanicsville, VA

It isn’t just that Mechanicsville High is called the Confederates. It’s the “Lee Davis” Confederates. As in “Robert E. Lee and Jefferson Davis.”

3. Criminals

Yuma High School Yuma, AZ

It would be one thing if this was an Arena football team … with adults playing the game. But this is a high school team. Often names like this are accompanied by a good story, but not this one… opposing fans referred to them as “Criminals”. They liked the name and kept ir.

2. Cotton Pickers

Robstown High School Robstown, TX

How this name has survived this long is a mystery.

1. Nads

Rhode Island School Of Design Providence, RI

No 1 in The Most Offensive Team Nicknames: Welcome to RISD, home of the Nads. And yes, that’s Nads. As in Gonads. And before you make the mistake of guessin this is a play on words, Google “RISD Nads Mascot.” We’re not putting it here, but it’s exactly what you think. Need more proof? Their basketball team has a slightly different name…

Click a Category Below For More Team Nicknames you didn’t know existed!

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